So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
