Who wears a wallet chain?!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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