Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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