If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We're too hungover to prance.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
