16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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