yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
