I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We are two peas in an std pod
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
