Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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