even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
