We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
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I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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