Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I haven't been this sober since birth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Randomize
