so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
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Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
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Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize