return my video game
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
