Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
