it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You pole danced in your parka.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
