I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
