I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
