just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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