I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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