actually, I'm a sock model
oh god the rape fog is back!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
