I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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