You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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