so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
