Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
