What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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