Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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