Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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