you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize