so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize