So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
