Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize