i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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