Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.