Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
