You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
