There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize