How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
