Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
