I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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