32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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