According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
