On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We need a shit load of segways right now
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out