So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?