She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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