She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.