how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
