After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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