Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
