turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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