i was born a porn star she said
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
