"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
