I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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