she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
