There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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