Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
