I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
