dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
