when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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