and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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