I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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