he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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