Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
