Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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