I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
