She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
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You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You did what with his pubic hair?
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