The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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